“If you want to impress me, compliment my mind” – a writer for Christina Yang

“I’ve told her she’s smart. I constantly tell her she’s the only funny girl I know. I go for art movies with her even though I think that stuff’s too pretentious. I listen to her ramble on about her favourite books and tv shows. I’m even nice to her overbearing mother! Yet, I get nothing!” Steve exasperated. “Her Facebook profile says her favourite quote is ‘If you want to impress me, compliment my brain’. Now, other than saying something daft like ‘I think you’re Einstein’, I don’t know in how many more ways I can tell her that she’s the smartest person I know!”

John nodded patiently as Steve went on, “She treats me like I’m one of her girlfriends, mate! She’ll tell me about the boys she’s mad at, she’ll point out the ones she fancies when we go out, and she’s always talking about that Joseph Gordon bloke! It’s like I’m some sort of asexual being to her.”

“Are you sure she’s not seriously into someone else?”, asked John.

“I don’t know. She’s got tonnes of guy friends but she doesn’t particularly talk of anyone she likes. I just don’t know.”

“Have you actually considered just asking her out?”

“What? And ruin what little we have going right now?”

“But what you have right now is clearly not working for you! Do you know that this is the third time you’ve gone on about this in the last week?”

“Hey!”

“Hey what?”

“Ugh, I don’t know. I have to go. I’m meeting her for coffee.”

“Dude, just tell her and get it over with. If she likes what she hears, hurrah, you can be an annoying happy prick, if not, we’ll go get smashed and get over it.”

Steve laughed, “Bye, John”.

He walked out of his apartment and made his way to the coffee shop. She was already sitting at their regular table by the window.

He walked up to her, slightly nervous. “Hey, Amy!”

She looked up from a book she was reading, “Oh, hey Steve! You know you’re late”.

He looked at his watch, “Just five minutes! That doesn’t count.”

“It would if there was a nuclear missile headed to destroy earth and you had to press a big red button to stop it but you didn’t because you were late and then we’d all be dead.”

He looked at her quizzically; Amy had a way of saying these things and then he didn’t know how to react. “Alright then, Amy, I’m sorry I’m late”.

Always best to apologise when in doubt, he thought.

She smiled, that gorgeous smile of hers which could light up any room, and said “It’s ok. I have some exciting news!”

“Oh, what’s up?”

“Jeremy asked me out!”, she squealed.

Steve was stunned, “What?”

“Jeremy! Remember? 6’2, handsome, a bit thick, but hey, nobody’s perfect”, she said grinning.

“Are you kidding me?”, Steve stood up and continued with a raised voice, “Are you seriously kidding me?”.

Amy looked around her in embarrassment, “Steve, what is wrong with you? Sit down!”

“I will not sit down. Jeremy? Really? Jeremy? The bloke you met five days ago, whom you compared to a male version of Marilyn Monroe, who thought you were called Annie for the first two days of knowing you, that Jeremy?”

“Steve, sit down! Why are you so offended?”

People were starting to look now.

“Why am I offended? Why? Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I’M INVISIBLE TO YOU!”, he bellowed.

Amy got up, took Steve by the arm and led him outside.

“What has gotten into you?”, she asked angrily.

“Amy, don’t you see! I’ve been nicest person in the world to you since the day I met you! I’ve done everything you wanted, I’ve even thought of the things you didn’t say you want, but I know you’d want, and done those! I’ve been nice, I’ve been as funny as I can be, I’ve laughed at all your jokes, I’ve listened to everything you’ve said, and I even complimented your beautiful brain—the one thing you say you want from a guy!”

Amy looked at her feet, took a deep breath, and looked back up. There were tears in her eyes. “You call my brain beautiful. You call my brain beautiful but you never, ever..” she was bawling now.

“Amy..”, he tried to hold her but she pushed him away.

“No. You never, you’ve never called me BEAUTIFUL!”, it was her turn to shout now. “You say it about every third girl you see! You tell me about how you find Sheila attractive, and Jane weirdly cute, and Anne, oh, you can’t stop going on about her eyes, but what about me? I get that I’m not conventionally pretty, I get that. And I’m not asking you to lie and say that I am, but at least have the courtesy to not tell me how every other girl in the world, other than me is beautiful, while I’m just smart! And I don’t need you to tell me I’m smart, I know I am! Every second person tells me I am!”

Steve was stunned, he didn’t know what to say. He tried putting his arms around her again but she just pushed him away again.

“Please don’t cry,” he implored “I.. I think you’re very beautiful. I think you’re one of the prettiest girls I know. But I don’t tell you that because I don’t want you to think that’s what I want from you. I.. I want you to know that I want you, all of you.”

Her sobbing began to slow down a bit.

“I say all those other girls are beautiful only when you’re talking about other guys. Think about it, I’ve never said it other than when you’re talking about other guys. It was just my way of dealing with my own jealousy. And, I’m.. I’m sorry.”

She looked at him for a while, trying to control her tears, “I like you too.”

“What?”

“I like you too”, she repeated.

“What about Jeremy?”

“I was just trying to move on from you.. I didn’t think you fancied me.”

“I..”

Amy didn’t let him finish, she pressed her body against his and just let him embrace her.

*This post was written for the Daily Prompt: Silver Screen— “Take a quote from your favorite movie — there’s the title of your post. Now, write!”

The Zergonian Mission

Note: I was supposed to do a character sketch but got side tracked and did a plot outline instead.

Kerbie looked around slowly at the wreckage around him. He couldn’t believe he survived that crash! He rummaged around the debris of his favourite meteor in search of his allinator. His strong limbs effortlessly moved aside the huge piles of rock, his grey eyes scanning several sights at once. After a few more minutes of frantic searching, Kerbie found his precious allinator. It looked like a clay tablet, only sleeker and shiny white on the backside with a stat- of-the-art touch screen. He caressed the pear shaped logo on the backside and relished his only remaining functioning survival tool from home. “Home”, he thought, “I wonder if my parent’s are celebrating my leaving at this moment, boasting to all their friends about how their offspring had left their home planet of Zergon to reach Crypton and fulfil his destiny.” Kerbie paused for a moment and breathed in the foreign air, it seemed to be similar to his home air, only that the poison here was fresher. Ah Poison! Kerbie loved poison, he lived for poison like every other Zergonian. His tall build and dark hair looked beautiful in the moonlight, almost Cryptonian-like. No Cryptonian would be able to tell of Kerbie’s Zergonian heritage unless they stared very intensely and realised that he was too beautiful. A kind of beauty that their planet had not produced for ages.

The Zergonians began to secretly migrate to Crypton when their planet could no longer sustain it’s inhabitant’s love for poison. On reaching Crypton, Zeferon (the leader of the Zergonians) examined the land and declared it fit for infiltration. Of course, infiltration would have to be a covert operation to avoid resistance. So, as soon as Zergonian spawn reached maturity, they were sent off to Crypton to capture the Cryptonian mind with superior intelligence and irresistible beauty. Slowly, the Zergonians began to gain political and business control over the Cryptons and enjoyed releasing poison into the atmosphere, ground, water and the Cryptonians themselves. The Cryptonians could not survive such high levels of poison and were conveniently dying out. Even though the Zergonians knew that Crypton could not stand this poison for long, they used it as a stop-gap measure.

Kerbie tapped his allinator a few times to review his mission for the zillionth time. Being exceptionally beautiful even for a Zergonian, Kerbie was given the challenging mission of enchanting a Crytponian named Miss Zelda Swan. Ms. Swan was the young owner of Blooming Petroleum (BP), Crypton’s largest Petroleum business. Ms. Swan was in love with her planet and would only use her company’s resources for sustainable development of her planet. BP was a pioneer in R&D and had developed technology to extract petroleum with minimum harm to the environment and was continuously discovering new renewable energy sources. (Hence, the business was now known just as BP instead of Blooming Petroleum). Kerbie was entrusted with enrapturing Ms Swan to fall in love with him, marry him and eventually hand over all the operations of BP to her lover. Thereafter, Kerbie would be expected to start oil wars, create oil spills and generally add more poison to the planet, thus, enabling the Zergonians to thrive. He sighed, switched off his allinator and purposefully strode forward towards Cryptonia, the planet’s capital fondly known as “The Big Pear” (Because Pear Inc., now headed by a Zergonian, owned most of the city’s land and businesses).

Kerbie stopped for a minute and looked back at the now smouldering remains of his meteor and smiled “That ought to release a good amount of poison. Not a bad start.”

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A story in 200 Words, Real Fast

A boy named Jim found me one day. We walked on the beach together. For hours. He’d hold my hand and take me to places unheard of. We went to the desert often. Most times, I wouldn’t remember what we did there. Strange. But then again, Jim was a strange boy. I liked that about him. I liked his strangeness, his verse, his serpentine appearance and his voice. His voice kept pulling me back to him again and again. It was soothing and all-encompassing. He would tell me many times that the end was near, I believed him. One moonlit night, we were walking on the beach. It was warm there; I could feel the salty breeze all over my body. Or maybe that was just his tongue. I can’t remember very well. I don’t remember much from that night actually. I just remember his voice, calm as always. He was singing things I couldn’t understand but they sounded beautiful. We took a turn and started walking into the water. It seemed like the right thing to do. I don’t remember fighting the waves; his voice said they didn’t exist so we kept walking. And then there was nothing.

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Weekend Writing Challenge: Sometimes They Fight

An argument between friends can be very revealing.

Sarah was outraged, “You didn’t tell me she was coming.”
“What difference does it make? Why are you so annoyed?” replied a frustrated Paul.
“Really? You really don’t know why I’m mad?” Sarah continued, “Well, lets see, maybe it was because I didn’t know I was going to be made the thrid wheel on your date tonight.” she screamed.
“It was not a date ok?”
“Don’t you dare lie to me like that. That girl clearly wants to get into your pants. Don’t even think about denying it. And what’s worse? You have a freakin’ girlfriend waiting back home for you. Why the hell haven’t you mentioned her to your new-found passion huh?”
“I’ve explained it before, I don’t like to discuss my private life with people I don’t know. If I say that I have a girlfriend, it’s like I’m building a wall. That’s the only reason why I didn’t tell her. Besides, I made it clear to her that I just want to be friends.”
“Listen Paul, no matter how much you tell a girl you just want to be friends, she has hope that someday you’ll change your mind and want to be more. You very well know that, you just don’t want to admit it. You know why? Because you like the attention and you find her attractive as well. Don’t deny it.”
“Ok, so what if I find her attractive? That doesn’t mean that I’m going to act on it. Can’t I just hang out with her?”
“Well then, why don’t you tell her that you have a girlfriend and see if she still wants to hang out? Hmm, why won’t you do that? And don’t give me any of that privacy bullshit again.”
Paul looked down at his hands, avoiding Sarah’s gaze. “Because it’s too late now. If I tell her now, she’ll think I’m a dick and I’ve been leading her on.”
“There you go, that’s the real answer. You have been leading her on. And you like that a girl like her is attracted to you. So you’re pretending to want to just be friends with her. Well, you’re not fooling anyone.” Sarah paused and went on, “You know what, all that is beside the freakin’ point. I don’t care what you do with your life. Mess it up as much as you want as long as it doesn’t interfere with mine. You know bloody well that you should’ve told me that she was coming along. You didn’t tell me cause you knew I would back out and then it would really be like a date. The next time you try to pull a trick like that, I will fucking put you down and kick your sorry ass all the way back to god only knows where.”
“Sarah, I..”
“Oh shut up. And stay out of my life till you sort your’s out.”

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